This blog post is something that I wrote just recently that was really heartfelt and something I would like to share with everyone. It was something that I wrote after having felt a lot of emotion. While now I feel rather silly it doesn't diminish the impact that this may have on you.

Most of you already know that for me this is a rare thing, since most of you have known me I have been generally happy and carefree. What caused it was that I watched a film called Home Room a tale which details the aftermath of a high school shooting and a girl stuck in the middle who is the antithesis of happy and carefree. I'm not saying that I have gone soft for some film, no matter how heart touching. I mean there is a part of me that takes this so personally because he has been in the dark before and has had the rug ripped out from underneath him. I know this isn't an absolute tale of truth, no film ever really is and we must face that but it doesn't take the emotion and sentimental value away. I felt everything they wanted me to feel from sadness, to happiness and every other emotion in between. I took the main characters personality to heart as she was quite like me wanting to hide from the emotion and the sadness and ball it up somewhere no one can see it. The thing is though that no human being can survive this way, there is no way to get rid of emotion baring forms of chemical castration and brains surgery.

I cried, maybe not as much as anyone else and maybe only in spurts of raw emotion but I did. It could be the lack of medication which I take everyday to suppress these feelings or perhaps more likely that I needed to let the emotion out because I would never let myself feel it otherwise. The thing is that I didn't cry for myself and I didn't cry solely because that is what I needed but I cried for all the people that have felt that heartache and sadness. I cried for every person that prematurely lost their life because of a person who just like me wouldn't just let it out sometimes and instead took it out on the people that never deserved it. I cried for all the babies that lost their lives for no reason and the people that were lost to genocide. I feel these things each and everyday in the back of my mind thinking about the heartache of the world and the pain that everyone goes through wishing I could stop it or at least make the people that hurt the most feel better.

I write this not because I am some sort of sap that you can make fun of for having the same feelings that you do but instead you choose to push them in to the back of your mind. We try to mask our feelings by convincing ourselves that it has nothing to do with us but the fact is that it does effect us and we do feel for these people that we don't even know. This is not to say that I sympathize with each and every one of the people that hurt and have been hurt but to say that I understand these feelings and am only looking to understand and forgive. To much do we forget that more often than not that everyone is a victim, if they are holding the gun or not. I don't think it is much to ask to question if you will think about these things and take what I have said to heart if only to make your life better. I believe that we are all to blame when it comes to misunderstanding each other and we must help to lift each other up rather than tear each other down.

If you want to watch the film go to Hulu and watch it for free. I am not saying that it is the most compelling piece of artwork for the suffering that happens in a school shoot out but an example of the thing we must overcome and forever sympathize. To many times has a student gone hurt and betrayed every day just because other students cant bring themselves to just think about the impact they have and that no matter who we are we are all the same. I say these things because I believe in them, I philosophize so that I may make an impact on the world or just the people that I have the pleasure of knowing. I just wanted to share my feelings because for once in a long time of shunning them I have finally come to let them out and interpret them into something coherent and profound. I hope that you read this regardless of who you are and what you believe in. I want you to feel as I have and come to realize that life is about sharing yourself with others and living the best that you possibly can. Don't take your time to criticize or shun me but instead to think, feel, and understand. I love you all and I want you to love each other.

The State of Affairs of Marijuana laws

I got arrested.

This is not a typo this is a simple truth that I got arrested for something, which to me is harmless, and yet was still taken to jail for. The charge is possession of a controlled substance and the substance was marijuana, a plant proven to be less harmful than even alcohol. As I paced around and around in the cell by myself I realized the sheer stupidity of me being there and loathed the state of affairs in this United States. We are so blinded by what the government uses as propaganda and tells us in so many words that we still do not understand.

According to a study sanctioned by the U.S. government marijuana has a direct correlation to lung cancer. In the study the scientist took gas masks and introduced marijuana smoke to monkeys for 30 minutes or more at a time. By the end of the tests all had lost most of their brain cells and were on the verge of developing lung cancer due to the amount of material still in their lungs. Several of the monkeys died, they simply could not take the abuse to wrongly prove this fact that the government still probably finds to be true. If you do not see the wrong in this sort of blatant misuse of power than you are truly blinded and do not have a mind of your own.

There are so many facts that I could bring up that would prove my incarceration for the night to be completely and utterly useless. This experience has pushed me to be more active in the campaign for the legalization and regulation of marijuana as not only a medical drug but for recreational uses also. While for congress and the senate medical marijuana is much different thing than marijuana the fact remains they are the same thing and have the same strengths. There is no difference between the marijuana that a multiple sclerosis patient uses and a recreational smoker uses. The difference is were we get it while one has a safer approach of caregivers and dispensaries recreational users have to go to drug dealers and questionable areas. The amount of criminal activity over this plant is appalling and I just hope we realize the damage and fix it before it becomes completely out of hand.